Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
