In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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