After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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