Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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