I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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