You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
