I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
