before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
