Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
