i just wanna soil my oats bro
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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