you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
