I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she peed on how many people?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
