literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
