I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
