You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
