tequila makes me forget i have legs
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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