I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
