Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
