READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
