it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
