Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dicks are not precious.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
