he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I am one with the molecules
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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