turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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