It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
