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Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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