i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
