the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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