She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
third nipple confirmed
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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