He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
