I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
it glows. i had to have it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
