Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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