ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
