just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
this boner is exhausting
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
