she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
