If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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