Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Mom said you looked used
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
