I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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