alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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