He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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