haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
