You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
