dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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