At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
vagina is talking i cant
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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