You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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