Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i dont even know how to be here
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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