I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
