it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
