What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
