no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
