any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
