Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
